Ups and Downs
You likely will feel a range of emotions during your time in the NICU. Families find different ways to cope during the many months their baby is hospitalized.
You can listen to two different family experiences below.
Sofia: Santiago was in the NICU for 7 long months. I didn’t have a restful night’s sleep in all that time.
My husband Javier and I had to keep switching out, so one person could be at home with our daughter. She asked if we were divorcing, because we were never home together and we weren’t doing any of the fun things we used to as a family.
Javier tried to go back to work twice, but each time Santiago got sick again, and he had to leave. That was hard for us, with all the unexpected costs, like traveling back and forth to the hospital all the time.
At home, we would just be waiting for the phone to ring with bad news from the hospital. I still can’t turn my ringer off after his heart stopped one night and my phone was on silent.
It was exhausting. But the NICU staff celebrated every small step forward which helped us get through the bad days.
Dara: The NICU was a roller coaster of emotions. Some days it was two steps forward and the next day it was five steps back.
I don’t even remember all the details. I know we were trying to help Steven, but I can’t help but wonder if he suffered.
We tried to keep reminding ourselves to put aside what we wanted, and to focus on what was best for him. I looked at how much support he needed to be where he was, which wasn’t even a good place.
At one point, we just knew he wasn’t going to get any better. We didn’t want him suffering anymore. We knew in our hearts he would not have a good life. We had to let him go. I was ready before my husband, but eventually he got there. We felt relieved when Steven was finally at peace.