Relationship
Relationships with your baby’s other parent, with your family, your friends—all of these may be affected by having a very premature baby.
You can listen to two different family experiences below.
Elijah: Amani’s mom and I separated a few months ago. It probably was a lot of things: never seeing each other, the stress of Amani’s NICU stay plus taking care of another child, and really not being able to go anywhere together for months.
Amani’s brother started acting out, because he went from being the only child to Amani getting all the attention at home. Thankfully, he has fun in school, but there’s always the worry that he’ll bring home a virus, and Amani will end up in the hospital. We are so glad that hasn’t happened yet.
My friends have been amazing. We held Amani up in the window when she came home so people could meet her. They made us so many meals. I just started needing to cook again.
Jane: Grace’s dad was never really in the picture. My family has been there for me, through all of this.
At first my parents didn’t understand my decision, but they still supported me. My sisters were great too. They took turns dropping by to check up on me and brought me food.
Some of my friendships have definitely changed. I think some friends just didn’t know what to say to me, so we drifted apart. But I have gotten closer with others, especially those who know what it’s like to have to make hard decisions.
I also had to go back to work sooner than I would’ve liked, because I needed the money, which was really hard. Everyone knew I was pregnant, so I felt like I had to relive everything for the first few days back. But eventually, it was good for me to get out of the house and stay busy.