There is no right or wrong choice
There are many reasons why parents might look at options other than trach and vent before making a decision.
You can listen to two different family experiences below.
Elijah: I wish I had known exactly what would happen and could predict how things would go.
We just couldn’t believe our second pregnancy was going to be like this. We talked to some family members. That, honestly, ended up confusing things, because everyone had a different opinion.
Amani’s mom and I decided to make the decision between the two of us. I’ll admit we weren’t in agreement at first. It took a lot of back and forth, but we knew we just had to make a decision and move forward.
I ended up letting Amani’s mom make the decision. She was the one carrying her and feeling her move and grow inside her for the last 6 months. On the bad days, I’ve wondered if I made the right decision for our family.
Jane: At first, I questioned how I could possibly make a decision like this for somebody else’s life that was permanent.
If her life was short, what did I want it to be like? Did I want her to be connected to machines? What would give her the best life? Not necessarily the longest life, but the best life.
Now, I feel my choice was the right one. Being able to hold her in my arms as she left me was the greatest gift I could’ve given her. If I was leaving like that and I had a choice, I would want to be in my mom’s arms.
I think I was the best mom I could be for her. I felt like I took care of her the best way that I could in the situation we were given. The doctor reassured me that no choice was right or wrong, so either way, I was doing the best I could.