Navigating the stress and uncertainty
You likely will feel a range of emotions during your time in the NICU. Families find different ways to cope during the many months their baby is hospitalized.
We knew what the chances were, but we prayed…
Sofia:
We knew what the chances were, but we prayed to God for a miracle. It was in His hands.
The doctors told us all the time: every baby is different, and there’s just no way of knowing. And it was terrifying to hear even the doctors didn’t know how things would turn out.
Anytime they brought bad news, we didn’t want to believe it. I was always the one holding onto hope. Javier seemed to lose hope when Santiago wasn’t doing well. I think because he was so scared.
Our daughter kept asking when Santiago was going to come home. She met him a few times, but we didn’t want to scare her with all the lines and tubes. I prayed that we would be a family of four.
Once we were transferred to rehab, it felt like the goal was in reach. Once he came home with us, our prayers focused on him being able to walk, talk, and recognize us.
I felt helpless, and sometimes angry…
Dara:
I felt helpless, and sometimes angry. Why was this happening to us? Why our baby? Why did he have to be one of the ones that did not get better with the treatments?
We worried what Steven’s life would look like if he lived. We felt like we had no control over anything. The only way I felt like I could do something, anything to help, was to be with him whenever I was able to.
Hope is what kept me going. I always had hope. At first of course, we hoped Steven would live. As he got sicker, we mostly just hoped he would not have any more pain.